My mother passed in 2003. She was declining for a few years and knew it. Although she would not describe herself as spiritual, she had a strong belief in God, a religious upbringing, and a zest for life, learning and teaching her whole life. She was dedicated to serving others and spent most of her life, teaching, nursing and helping others in many ways. As she got closer to her own transition she began to question spiritual aspects of a life after death versus traditional religious teachings.
She had spent most of her life, as I did, actively denying her very different connection to the other side. My younger sister was also on her own a spiritual journey of discovery. I had told them both about two different near-death experiences I had, angel occurrences and messages sent in dreamtime. Together we spent many hours talking with each other, and her, about it. In the last years of her life she was curious and perhaps a little anxious. We even shared one miraculous angelic intervention. That’s a story for another day.
She asked how I would know her if she came by to visit from heaven. I said you should give us each a sign. Choose it now so I will know it is you. She told me she would send me butterflies. My sister would see angelic symbols. I loved yellow, and most specifically Golden Tip Angel Wings, and she loved monarchs and white cabbage moths, which are common in B.C. and Canada. We agreed that any of those showed up and hung around, or landed on or very close to me and stayed for a bit, it would be her sending me a message.
I loved drums and drumming my whole life. My junior and high school sorrow was not being allowed to play the drums in the school band. Back then, it wasn’t considered a suitable instrument for a girl. I told her dad always came to me with the sound of bells or chimes, which he loved. If she needed it to be a sound, make it drums. She laughed a lot at that.
I was blessed to be with her and my sister when she passed. She loved Hawaii and island music, especially the chanting and drums. We played her out with that music. When our brother arrived to sit with her awhile, and my sister went to take care of the paperwork, I wandered out onto the nearby patio. As I was looking out over the valley below, a huge white butterfly appeared from nowhere and circled above and around me. Lower and lower it came until it landed softly on my knee. We sat there together until I heard my brother behind me say, ‘Well, that will be mom. I guess she made it.’ At that, the butterfly flew up and circled above us all for a minute and then disappeared high up into the air.
Many months later I was reminded of the connection to my mother’s heart, butterflies and drums, as we spread her ashes in her beloved Hawaii. She appeared to all of us in so many ways with so many signs. I believe she was thanking us for bring her back to her heart home, the place she loved most on earth.
One of the principles I learned from my own experiences with death was that we are always here now. Now is where we live. Since her transition, she comes often as butterfly or a drum song. In 2009 I made and painted a drum in her honour and wrote this poem/song in her memory. As you read it, connect to the spirit in your heart, the soul of you here, now and always. Sadly, some of our drums were stolen, including my precious sacred mother heart drum. I hope whomever took them is blessed with the joy I had in creating and playing it.
Sacred Mother Heart Drum Song of NOW
(Note: Think of NOW as a beat of a drum and a reminder to be here now with your heart beat.)
Let your heart be still, NOW, Listen, hear her sweet song, NOW! Breathe from her heart, NOW! Soar NOW, Sing NOW
Dance, NOW, Dance
The song of the Sacred, NOW! Heartbeat of Life, NOW! Sacred Mother Heart Drum NOW!
Butterflies whirl, as the Mother dances, The sea sounds her sirens call, NOW! To the shores of our hearts, NOW! Once so far apart reunited NOW,
Mysterious NOW, Magical, NOW,
Our mythical stars shining, NOW! Swirling NOW, angels whirling NOW, Our universe turning, NOW!
The drum sings softly NOW, Loudly, NOW, far, far, away NOW! Our songs overlap, NOW Over and over, NOW, Moving closer and closer NOW
NOW, here, NOW there, everywhere NOW! Butterflies whirl, so softly they sparkle As once they were, NOW, are NOW, And ever shall be, NOW!
Sacred Mother Heart still hears NOW! She breathes, NOW!
The drum beats her heart, NOW Sacred heart songs, from the soul, NOW!
Sung from heart to heart NOW! Dear heart is as it ever was NOW! Ever shall be, NOW!
Donna Fairhurst is the owner of Soul Full Solutions in Penticton.
This column was submitted as part of BWB Wednesdays.
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