By Tom Kernaghan
How do you take charge of a frigging monkey on an emotional roller-coaster? First of all, stop listening to its crap. Secondly, don’t get on the ride just because it wants you to. Thirdly, create a new reality ride for yourself and shift in that direction. If all of this sounds as compelling as it does daunting, then you are ready to meet Kasia Rachfall, an intuitive natural health practitioner, life coach, healer and artist for women who want to “ditch the midlife funk and live with no regrets, and create the impact they long to be recognized for.”
Rachfall understands how past stories, programming, and belief systems can block and limit the potential for living fully and happily. Not only is she educated/certified in transpersonal psychology, life coaching, Akashic records reading, neuro-linguistic programming, specialized kinesiology, stress indicator point systems (SIPS), time line therapy, thought field therapy (TFT) and Reiki, but she has gone through her own long healing journey and discovered why “ticking all the boxes” of life did not leave her feeling fulfilled.
Rachfall fully admits that she is not for everyone. She is feisty, forthright and fun, and absolutely here to help other women over 40 who are determined to gain self-knowledge, trust themselves, and move toward what they want. She has attained mastery over her own roller-coaster monkey mind and is ready to help you with yours. So we were thrilled to learn more about her and how she rolls (pun fully intended).
I remember my female friends in university. They seemed wild, fierce and unapologetic. But more and more I hear about women roughly my age who are struggling to live authentically. The outside world has no shortage of pressures, I know, but what happens WITHIN women by midlife that hijacks their true selves?
Life happens, and it can be so hard that we forget our true nature, which takes the wind out of our sails and makes us feel like we are drowning. But it starts early. There are so many expectations, belief systems, programs, traumas, and epigenetic influences that get heaped on to us as soon as we are born into this world. We may have dreams and goals, and yet feel so incapable and unworthy of them because of all that crap that bogs us down and makes us forget that we have a choice and that we are actually really powerful.
For so many women life becomes what they believe they are expected to do. They get a career, buy a house, have a relationship and then kids, have friends, support their kids’ interests, et cetera. At the same time, they try to deal with their emotions and take care of their bodies, and this can often feel like an existence more than a thriving life. They feel like they should be happy but deep down they aren’t and this carries with it secret shame.
After taking care of everyone else, they feel they’ve lost themselves. They know they are meant for more, but the shoulds and expectations have eaten up all their time and energy, leaving their bodies tired and sick, their brains foggy, their sleep patterns compromised. They yearn for more meaning and joy, and try a bunch of things to help themselves, but this only chips away at the problem and makes them feel they are doing it all wrong, losing traction and momentum towards their own dreams.
Right around age 40 they are faced with a midlife funk, and that craving for more from life becomes too strong to ignore. They begin to choose and invest in themselves and their own well-being. This means asking for help and being willing to receive it, so that they can truly commit to the healing work that reconnects them to their own spiritual journey, helps them to say yes to making an impact, and removes the layers that keep them from remembering their wholeness.
You offer many modalities—specialized kinesiology, art channelling and Akashic reading work—but where do you start? What do you look for in the women who seek out your services, and what is the essential desired outcome?
I’ll start with your last question. My deepest desire and vision for our world is that we stop passing down our pain to our future generations. This is why I do this work and why I’m so dedicated to learning about mental, physical, and emotional health and mastery. I believe we are never broken. We simply forget how powerful and capable we are because life puts layers of limitations, beliefs, programs and conditioning on us. The more we know and understand how we work and how the universe works, the easier it is to embrace our own power and make decisions and choices to help ourselves and others. We heal, grow and thrive faster when we take a holistic approach and include the mind, body and spirit.
I work with a four-stage model of the healing journey, and I tend to work best with the women who are at stage three of healing. They are truly ready to finish healing rather than just dabble in another thing that sounds cool. These women have been on the spiritual path for some time and no longer believe they are victims of their past. They are ready to work with me to take responsibility for healing their pain. This doesn’t mean any of it is their fault. It simply means that they are finished living with it and are ready to do whatever it takes to feel better, to remember their wholeness, and no longer carry the past like a concrete backpack. They are ready to step on to the growth and thriving path; to become the version of themselves who trusts, believes and takes action with confidence; and to make an impact and to be recognized for it.
This doesn’t happen overnight, but it can happen faster than you think. Healing doesn’t have to take a long time and doesn’t have to be hard work, but you’ve got to be ready for full commitment and participation. I don’t tend to attract women into my practice who are still committed to their pain and suffering.
I love the integration of specialized kinesiology and the Akashic records in my work because it allows me to give both the body and the soul a voice, understand what they want, and help women to release the layers of stress, trauma and drama held in the body and energy fields so they can move into possibilities and potential. This involves identifying limiting beliefs and feeling their backlog of emotions in a way that releases them rather than fuelling and perpetuating them. It’s a wild emotional ride at first because so many women feel unworthy, not good enough and are easily triggered by their circumstances. They just want to know what to do and have the courage to take that first next step.
My clients also learn about neuroplasticity to rewire their brains and bodies for the habits and beliefs they want to have. I guide my clients to avoid and navigate the post-healing apocalypse loops of habit, behaviour, thought and emotion that are so easy to slide back into while on this path. They uncover their own definitions for success, impact, spirituality, self-love and connection. They cross bridges of change and build strong foundations on which to build their lives after the healing work is finished. They become the self-trusting versions of themselves that fully believe in their missions and purposes, trusting that the process and the universe will have their backs and illuminate their paths in divine timing.
This brings us back to your first question. The Akashic records—the quantum universe’s information field or vibrational archive of the soul’s path—are usually where we begin because they offer clear insight into the purpose of the patterns and struggles that my clients have. The records fill in the blanks and explain a lot about why my clients find themselves in the circumstances they do and what they can do to shift and redirect towards what they want instead. We then turn to specialized kinesiology to identify and remove the muscle memory of stress and old programs from the body and energy field. We continue to work with both the Akashic records and kinesiology to peel back and release the layers that are no longer necessary for the client’s growth and focus on what the client wants to create in her life.
I know you also have also studied business communication and love to connect by speaking and reaching out to people through your podcast. Tell us a bit about this work!
I love to speak and teach. In fact, according to my numerology I am an innovator, and I am meant to teach what I learn. Over the years that I’ve been doing this work, I’ve created many resources and tools (videos, courses, articles, flowcharts, and more) to help women navigate the mental and emotional rollercoaster. To this day, I use these whenever I myself need them—because they remind me that I’m in charge. Many of these are free on my website and my YouTube channel.
I also host a podcast called Permission Granted Podcast with three colleagues, and we discuss topics and concerns that matter to women today. We’re scattered across North America (New Jersey, Minnesota, and B.C.) but manage to coordinate ourselves every couple weeks to record our episodes, which are available on Soundcloud. It gives us a way to connect with each other and support each other as we live our lives and run our businesses and to support other women who are seeking a community and are ready to thrive and lead in their lives unapologetically.
I remember your talk at BWB’s Storytelling Tuesday a few months ago. It was honest, engaging, and powerful — very much related to the work you do. Can you tell our readers a little about how your journey has inspired your passion to help other women?
I had no idea why I was unhappy. As I saw it, I hadn’t really experienced any trauma and thought that only people who had “bad things” happen to them were unhappy. My family immigrated from communist Poland to Canada when I was nine years old, and then my parents got divorced when I was a teen. And like many teen girls, I had body image and self esteem issues. But otherwise, over the years, I felt like my life was okay.
That changed after the birth of my children, when I experienced horrible suicidal postpartum depression and saw no meaning in my life. I felt a lot of shame about this because I had so much to live and to be grateful for—my amazing husband, my healthy kids, my family, my job, my home—but I felt incapable of feeling any gratitude. I wanted to escape because I felt trapped in my life by responsibilities and expectations.
I hated being alive. I hated being a mom. I thought life on this planet was a sick joke, and felt like a victim of circumstances and suffered deeply. I didn’t know how to handle my negative emotions and so I numbed myself to them and pretended they weren’t there. The problem there is that we can’t selectively numb ourselves and so I couldn’t feel any joy either.
I tried counselling and antidepressants but when I didn’t feel any better after a month or so, I knew there had to be something different. One night, as I contemplated how one actually ends one’s life, I heard this voice in my mind that said, “You created this, and you can uncreate it.” I was blown away by this thought. Although I had no idea how I would change my life, I was relieved that there may be another way, a better way.
Then I discovered the work of Dr. Wayne Dyer and began devouring all this teachings. None of it made sense at first, but I felt compelled to keep learning. Incrementally I felt better and better all on my own. I began following the crumbs of inspiration and one thing led to another. I read more books, took programs, and met people who showed me how much potential and choice I actually had. I went back to school to get various certifications and a master’s degree in psychology. I began working with other moms who wanted happiness but didn’t know how to go about it. I was intrigued by neuroscience and energy work. By following these crumbs, I continued to help myself, to discover my own spiritual path, and I was able to fully heal from my depression and my shame.
I firmly believe that we are always whole but life causes us to forget this, and that by choosing to walk a healing and a spiritual path we remember our wholeness and take charge of our own power.
What do balance and well-being mean to you?
I used to think that balance meant every slice of my life pie had to receive equal amounts of my attention and energy. This was crazy making and impossible because inevitably something would slip through the cracks. It was when I honestly looked at what was important to me and what I wanted to say yes to that I was able to balance my life more easily. Some slices of my pie get a lot more of my attention than others. My family and my mental, emotional, and physical health are the most important, and next is my work and my community. There are other smaller slices, of course, but they are not priorities as such.
By being clear on the true priorities I can manage and dedicate my time and energy accordingly. Sometimes one slice requires all of my attention and I know that I can easily give it because the other slices are also taken care of. All that to say that balance to me means knowing what’s important to you and having the energy to devote to those priorities. This knowing brings a sense of peace and freedom because it’s easier to say no to things that don’t fit and yes to things that matter. Well-being means feeling content and settled in our own life and trusting that we can take care of what we say yes to and also be taken care of in return.
Now for the fun finale! Care to share something quirky or interesting about yourself that our readers may not know?
Ha ha. I feel like I’m pretty much an open book! Speaking of books, I love to read and I usually gravitate towards stories with happy endings and warm fuzzy emotions. I don’t like to be scared or stressed out when I read! So when I do come across a book and I don’t care for the ending or I disagree with the author’s story choices, I rewrite the scenes or the ending to suit my taste. I don’t let anyone read these rewrites, but it makes me feel better to change the story to how I think it should have gone.
This column was submitted as part of BWB Wednesdays.
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